Ah Beng Blogs... LOL

Was reading Kenny Sia's blog and found his super duper cool English-Benglish Translator. So I typed my blog address in and the results were hilarious! Check it out here. Read the post about Brandon. It's freaking funny. You'll get things like 'Soon, the cheebye kia will move on to ruling the world. Hehe...' and try reading Cikgu Lily's blog in Ah Beng style. She calls her students chee bye kias and ah bengs. LOL....

POS MALAYSIA BOLEH, MALAYSIA PUN BOLEH

Today, I went to Pos Malaysia's website to check the whereabouts of my registered mail (*in a bimbo-tic bitchy tone* all thanks to technology dahlink) and apparently i keyed in the wrong reference number and I was greeted with this:

YOUR REFERENCE NUMBER IS NOT EXISTED!

You damn right there's a ! at the back of that freaking sentence. Jeez. *in Ah Lian tone* Is no make my sense for me la!!

I was like ?!??!?!?! after I read it. Reference number is not existed? Whh-aa-at? Anyway, let me tell you a little bit about Pos Malaysia (taken from their site).

"The corporatisation Pos Malaysia Berhad on 1st January 1992 is yet another milestone in the successful implementation of the privatisation policy of the Goverment. While the privatisation policy has various objectives, the corporatisation of Pos Malaysia Berhad however, would confine itself to improving the efficiency at all levels and increasing the productivity of services offered for a start.

Further, Pos Malaysia Berhad being an agency that has close contract with all levels of society would also provide better services and among them some new services to the Malaysian public. The transformation of the Postal Services Department to a corporatised entity not only enchances (WTF IS ENCHANCES? I checked Microsoft Word's Thesaurus, Bryant's BBC Dictionary, Cambridge Advanced Learner's Dictionary, Cambridge Dictionary of American English, Cambridge International Dictionary of Phrasal Verbs and Dictionary.com and they don't freaking know what it means either! I found enhances, enchanters... NO ENCHANCES!) for the public, but also places the new company on the threshold of providing excellent service and support structure of achieve (I reckon it should be of achieving? Correct me if I'm wrong people) Vision 2020.

Therefore, Pos Malaysia Berhad will grow rapidly with its potential of dedicated staff and the dynamic leadership of its management. Pos Malaysia Berhad with its various modernisation programmes will be able to meet the current and future needs for postal services.

PS. As a citizen of Malaysia, I feel that Pos Malaysia is fantastic for creating their own new word, enchances, and that the staff and the management should all go to the top of Pejabat Pos Besar, Kuala Lumpur (full address: Jln. Tan Cheng Lock, 50670 Kuala Lumpur), line up and take turns to jump off it. If that doesn't kill them, they should try running back and forth Federal Highway, NPE Highway, NKVE Highway, Kesas Highway, or any other highway there, during peak hours until a trailer or a lorry knocks them down. Malaysia Boleh!"

Jeez... no wonder some people receive other people's mail by accident or never receive their mails. Malaisia inggris veli gud angtil simper inggris kengnok angdersteng (Malaysian English very good until simple English can not understand). Nuts... I now fear whether my registered mail is safe or not.

Haih... and that's what we're suppose to learn in school. Hello... if educated, degree holding adults make simple mistakes like that, what about the kids!? Doom to an eternity of mockery from other countries or unpatriotic citizens like me!?

Damn, they're still telling my me reference number is not existed. I swear on my momma's life I typed it in right for the 985214576th time! Paid damn RM3.50 to send a piece of paper so yea... I expect it to actually reach somewhere. Grr... Pos Malaysia is driving me nuts...

Hrm... should file a complain to Pos Malaysia's Chairman, YBhg Datuk Abdul Majid Bin Haji Hussein, or the CEO, YBhg Dato’ Ikmal Hijaz Hashim about all this. MY MAIL BETTER BE SAFE OR I'LL BRING IT UP TO THE BIG MAN ON TOP, BADAWI. MUAHAHAHA... zzz... I'm tired and cranky. Pos Malaysia pissed me off.

Post Of Fame... BRANDON ;)

Showing you the different sides of Brandon Sia. Not only is he intellectual, he's athletic and at the same time suave and sheer model material to me. Hehe... enjoy.

The school foyer

Brandon can never get enough knowledge. Within minutes of arriving in school, already he has a book clutched in his hand waiting for him to indulge.

In the bus on the way back

See Brandon trying to flash his muscles behind? His pride and joy.

Field Trip to Gunung Gading 2005

Obviously, Brandon's the one in the orange shirt. He was trying to bask in the sun to perfect is manly tan.

Jason Lee's 17th Birthday at Tsui Hua Lau

Brandon's the one in the bright yellow shirt giving his coy yet macho smile that he's famous for

2005 Sports Day, Shotputt Boys B

If I'm not wrong, Brandon got gold for this event. Muscle man carrying two 'big balls'.

2005 Sports Day

Brandon is the first on the far right in the blue shirt

"I'M BRANDON'S CLASSMATE AND PROUD OF IT"

Today's post will be all about Brandon Sia. A bit about this Brandon, he's a student of Lodge School and is currently in Form 5. Brandon was originally a Science student, but moved to the Art's class. He's a school athlete, a prefect and also a straight A student. Anyway, if Brandon was to make his school life into a sitcom, it would definitely be titled 'Everybody Loves Brandon' (Har har... try laugh), and yes, you've guessed right, everybody does loves Brandon (honestly!). Well, as you've read in my previous post, Cikgu Charlene Lai has been praising Brandon like there's no tomorrow, and so has Mdm. *urgh* Voon and today, 9th August 2005, Mr. Gerald Lee Leong Ai was added to the list. The Form 5 had a "pep" talk today and after 50 minutes of repeating himself and boring the hell out of students, he started.

*all of a sudden, in the midst of talking about exam statistics*
GLee: I am very impressed with one of the Form 5 students. *pauses* (everyone looking either at Lionel or Brandon). He was from the Science side (everyone starts laughing because they know who it is), and moved to the Art side (by then, everyone starts laughing and ooo-ing). Brandon nearly got all A1s for his subjects (more laughing and ooo-ing) and if he can do it all you of you can also! (a mixture of laughter and clapping generates) The teachers told me, when Brandon was in Junior School, he was a rascal! Now, he is a well respected prefect! (the ooo-ing gets louder) Congratulations Brandon!

By the end of this, Brandon was all red and shy and couldn't stop smiling. I swear that really made his day. He was so cranky and bitchy in the morning and after that incident, he couldn't stop smiling and nothing could ruin his day. Not even the damn hot weather! Haha... so after that, the whole class started mocking him and suggesting things like t-shirts saying "I'M BRANDON'S CLASSMATE AND PROUD OF IT", or "I'M BRANDON'S TEACHER AND I'M LOVING IT", or "I KNOW BRANDON SIA" and even wanted to make a big cardboard cut out of him and charge other people about RM2 to have their pictures taken with it. Hehe...

A little something for the students. Simple and yet it gets your message across loud and clear! Simplicity meets direct.

Round neck T-Shirt S, M, L, XL (RM50)

'I'm Brandon's classmate and I'm proud of it' (font and font colour can be changed)

Something the teacher's can way. Neat and approved by the Ministry Of Education. Just because you're old doesn't mean you can't be cool anymore.

Short sleeved wool sweater S, M, L, XL, XXL (RM85)

'Brandon is my no.1 student and he makes me proud!!!' (font and font colour can be changed)

Not his classmate nor his teacher? No worries, at least you do know him right?

Round neck T-Shirt S, M, L, XL (RM50)

'I know Brandon Sia' (font and font colour can be changed)

I can already hear money rolling in. A new line will come out soon too! Look forward to new quotes, different styles of shirts and even a new line of bags and caps! Haha... getting a bit out of hand. Anyway, back to Brandon, soon enough, the school has confidence in him to get numerous awards like the Chairman's Awards from to school which he will then work his way to getting the Pulitzer Award, Oscar etc etc. But honestly, I'm really proud of him. He deserved it all ;)

Soon, he will move on to ruling the world. Hehe...

Birthdays Birthdays Birthdays

Goodness, did I tell you how much August costs every year? LOL... joking joking. Anyway, as you know, this weekend everyone seems to be celebrating their birthdays! Lets start one by one.

GKho's birthday was celebrated on 5th August which was on Friday. So we all went to Oregano (at Travillion, behind Prudential) for dinner. The menu, chicken or fish. Anyway, got there around 7ish and apparently, a lot of people were late (grr.. you know who you are!) so the food was delayed. Haven't really explored the place properly so Brandon, GLiew and I started walking around and we thought we'll just pop into The Rock Shop. As most of you should know, The Rock Shop is a really well known boutique and their main, or should I say most frequented (?), outlet is at Kuching Plaza. Specializing in Ah Beng and Ah Lian apparel. So anyway, went in and the owner, Alan, started enlightening us about the line of jeans he carries, Lavine Jeans, is his own (his sister's name is Lavine) and he has a factory that makes them in Guang Zhou (I was pretty impressed). Lavine Jeans is also quite well known in Kuching as it is decent priced (ranging from RM75 to about RM90) and quality, and I have to admit, most of their guys jeans are quite nice. So he was just telling us all this when all of a sudden he said to me and Brandon in Hokkien, "Both of your jeans colour is so 6 years ago! If you were this back then it would be considered fashionable but now, its out of style la." So Brandon and I were like thinking "wtf?!?!" but both found it quite funny at the same time. A total stranger coming up to you and telling you your jeans are out of style. Apparently, GLiew won because the colour of his jeans were only so 1 and a half years ago. Anyway, I reckon I might go back there again. Guys, if you're looking for decent priced jeans, I recommend The Rock Shop. Try your best to ignore all the Ah Beng accesories around you and you'll be just fine! So slightly bedazzled (LOL), we went back to Oregano. At last the food came. Was kind of disappointed at the food ler. Thank God I didn't order the chicken. It tasted so...... normal. Nothing to hoo haa over. But the fish was quite interesting. The sauce was some tangy, creamy substance and at least it was slightly different. So by then, everyone started arriving. So before the desserts, all the guys (think of the basketball team and some from here and there) and I were talking and suddenly someone said the word park. Then Kun being the retard he is said Parkson. The Sime suddenly said car park, and I said parking. Kun again said Parker pen followed by Peter Parker and Parkinson. By then, it was already a full blown game between the three of us and it started getting ridiculous with words like parktoh, bola separk, parkpoh (suppose to be bakpoh), lepark. We soon felt it was really dumb so we stopped. The chocolate pudding thing arrived and it was quite alright. GKho's Neopolitan cake was nice. Hehe.. most of us had at least 2 helpings. So by then everyone left and Brandon, Sime, Jack, Jason, Andrew, Lik, Kun and I were the last few. Couldn't make up our minds so we walked around to check out what shops there were. Ended up lepark-ing (pardon the pun) around there and talking. So Sime finally sent me to town and I guess they all went to Lik's house to play.

Fast forward to the 6th which is Saturday. Hehe... Today Deanne and Lik celebrated their birthday at Deanne's house. So at a little pass 6, Jack picked me up and we went to her house. BRANDON SIA IS A DAMN KIASU. He brought his Econs book to a birthday party! Loser :P The party was quite fun. The food was from Rock Road Seafood and the prawns were the best ler. So anyway, I discovered I'm related to Deanne! After all this years of being friends only now then I knew. Was flipping through her photo albums when I came across a picture of these 3 girls which I knew were my second cousins. Then I saw another which was taken with Deanne, her sister and a few of their cousins which I recognized. So I asked Deanne how was she related to them and apparently they're her second cousins too! I don't know which side la, but for me, they're related to me through my dad's side. The world officially grew smaller. So during dinner, Ian and I had our food and we thought we'll be smart and sit on the swing! But it was so dark we could barely see what we were eating! Then we finally emerged from the dark to get more food and apparently, we missed out a few bits of food here and there. Hehe... after our second helping, we became more civilised and sat at the table with Lik's mum. Grodon, Ian, Lik and I started exchanging cheap jokes and we were laughing so much Lik's mum was so worried we'll choke. Oh yea, I played Prince Of Tennis (?) for the first time. Teamed up wif Chiang and he kept tiu-ing me when I missed a shot. So boh hau siaw wan la this game. Think along the lines of Shaolin Soccer but this time, it's tennis with super power. I had no idea why the guys loved it. So after I lost the second time, went downstairs to mingle mingle mingle with people. Brandon merajuked because I hid his Econs book. So the cake cutting was a havoc. Hehe... everyone was shouting for everyone and it was so hot because there was so many people. Took lots of group pictures. Felt like it was some paparazzi ambush. Four five camera flashes going off simutaneously. Then chun chun Rodney and Clarence arrived. So we sang Happy Birthday (like... 5 times) and when the we reached the line "Happy Birthday to...", everyone tried cramping "Rodney, Lik Hui, Deanne, Clarence" into it. Try it try it. Sing the Happy Birthday song and when you reach that line sing "Happy Birthday to Rodney, Lik Hui, Deanne, Clarence" and make sure you sing the names in one breath. Funny la. After cutting the cakes, Deanne took a personal picture with Grodon (they're so sweet together la) and we forced Lik Hui to take a picture with Phey Feng. She's really sporting hor. Fun leh people like that. Lik Hui was so red. But I guess he finally got his Birthday wish *wink*. So I left not long after the cake cutting. Overall, it was fun. By next year I don't think we'll be able to do anything like this again.

I don't have pictures because my camera is in ICU but I'll try get them from others and post a few memorable ones up. Hehe.. Happy Birthday to all of you ler and hope you guys had fun!

What else is new?

Brandon has just started complaining that I never update my blog. Hehe... Anyway, these few days have been quite uneventful. Oh yea, the day before yesterday, I finally went to see GLee about my report card. So as I was sitting there, he started going on about how my results weren't good and that I could do better and stuff like that. So he was like "You are from the Science side so you should do much better!". So I just sat there and started nodding my head. At the same time, I was wondering whether he would bring Brandon up, and before I completed my thought, he went "Brandon is also from the Science side and look at his results! Almost A1 for everything. You can be like that too, the only thing is that you are lazy! Look at Brandon, he's so hardworking!". Couldn't help myself but start smiling. So it was true after all, GLee loved Brandon. Anyway, TODAY GLee did it again and Brandon seems very eager for me to blog about it. Anyway, Brandon and I were sitting at the foyer waiting for Kun they all when GLee approached us. First thing he said "Congratulations Brandon. You beat the Science siders by getting a prize!", so I couldn't help but grin away and trying my best not to giggle. He then turned to me and asked me "What are you laughing at? You should be like him, work harder." something like that and turn and walked away. Damn Brandon.

In Perdagangan class, went to the lab because the weather was just ridiculously hot! Everyone was finishing their case study and doing the exercises at the back. So I was sitting with Cikgu while she was marking some papers. There were people sleeping, doing their work, talking and some roaming around (like GLiew, who claims to be Invisible Girl from Fantastic Four [?]). Something funny happened. Cikgu was marking Grodon's paper (horrible handwriting) and was complaining that Grodon's beats around the bush and likes to wander around before reaching his destination too much in his essays or in another words, he will berputar belit and go round and round before going to the point. So Cikgu was like "Gordon ah, why you like to go round and round and makan angin so much in your esssay, should go straight to the point. Not go around and catch butterflies." something like that like. I know she said something about roaming around catching butterflies. So a picture popped into my mind:

Grodon catching butterflies (?)

That morning, we had assembly too. As usual, boring boring boring. GLee was talking about someone somewhere was thinking about building a home for the agents (suppose to be aged but he pronounced ey-jed which sounded like agent). Got me confused for a while and he was going on about caring for them, giving them a comfortable environment, people to take care of them and stuff like that. I was like what the? and it hit me he was talking about home for the AGED.

Mountain View- Home for the Agents

Does your Agents require assisted care?

Should let GLee experience Lodge School's English teachers. Ask Mdm *urgh* Voon, Mrs Chan, Miss Chin and Chung etc etc to get together and teach him how to pronounce all his pronunciation so he won't risk getting mocked by students like me. I reckon he's a retard. I don't like him and never will.

HAPPY 19TH BIRTHDAY TO ANGELINA "GUNDUKIA/SUKUKIA/NGONG/CHIA CHIA" LIM (3RD AUGUST)!!!

Angelina "Gundukia" Lim

Taken at Santubong resort quite early in the morning. She's crazy, she just plopped down right in the middle on the stairs and started sionging us.

I've known this girl for donkey years! Seen her evolved into what she is now (not much progress if you asked me *wink*. Hehe... Angie's always been attractive, like how shit attracts flies, flowers attract bees etc etc you get the picture. She's also really patient! Only Angelina will be sweet enough to wake up and pretend to listen to me when I call her at 3 in the morning when I can't sleep. I really do appreciate it! Hehe... Anyway, great to know you're doing great in Russia and I really hope to see you soon! Happy Birthday!!

HAPPY 17TH BIRTHDAY TO JANE "YING" LAU (1ST AUGUST)!!!!

Miss Jane Lau Yin Ying

I remember this picture! Haha... it was taken on Riverside's hotel bed during 2003 New Year. Eh.. remember Angie and I smuggled buns and sausages for you and Manda in the morning?

What can I say about this girl... I only got to know her properly some time in Form 2 if I'm not wrong and from then on she was my partner in crime during tuitions. Hehe... After Raymond Ho, we'll go to Red Tea and tapau, after Mrs. Wong, sometimes we'll go eat gubak mee. Then, there was Yellow House. She was our number one girl athlete, whether it's jumping or running, sure she sapu. Then there was basketball also. Remember you go scold that Alison girl? Damn mean la you. Well, now she's in Melbourne! So yea... you better be back soon. Anyway, a great Happy Birthday to you and great to see that you had some company there. Hehe... I bet your cake from Yon and Ktay was from Crown Bakery. That's where Yon and I rendezvous the last time I was there. Hehe... So yea... *hugs* a great year ahead for you.